I think the people who I meet… They have this impression that I’m “suplada” or too childish. And the thing is that I would like people to like me but I would never change the way I am for them. Having that suplada air and being childish or childlike is the real me (yes, it’s not just an impression) and though I can hide it I will never change those attributes because I am comfortable with myself.
Also having people like you because you hide your true self too much or you pretend that you’re someone you are not, is somewhat unfulfilling because in the end you’re acting the way they want you to not the way you are supposed to.
There are two types of transformations or changing. One is when you change because you have to for example you have an attitude problem. This is when you have to change for the better or else no one will ever want to be friends or have a relationship with you.
The other type of transformation is when you change yourself just to compromise and to submit to people’s expectation.
Do they sound the same? If so, I’m telling you that there is a fine line between those two.
Anyway, with my being suplada… I don’t think that I really am that suplada. I admit that I can be suplada at first but that’s just because I don’t let my guard down that easily when meeting new people. I don’t know but I have this problem or this way of thinking that you should not put yourself out there and have no defense. I have trust issues that goes way back in my childhood which I would not like to talk about anymore. And for a side-note, I might have inherited it from my mother. (But she’s far more suplada! lol)
This suplada thing is my defense, I guess. It’s an attribute that I still hold on to and is actually getting weaker. When I entered college and met my friends, I became more open and my defense against new people lowered and my issues suddenly are not that much of a problem anymore…
But I digress, what I’m trying to say is that I am me. Being suplada is who I am. I am somewhat childish and it might annoy some of you but bear with me that’s not the only trait that I have. I can also be demanding! Mature when needed! Obssessive-compulsive! Funny! (When I’m in the mood) Moody! Too dependent on others! Deep! Silent! Random! Friendly! (Again when I am in the mood.) Optimistic! Pemisistic! Realistic! Idealistic! Silly! Cheerful! Bubbly!
I don’t know how accurate are these descriptions that I have for myself but I’ll let you be the judge.
